Ugly ducklings do not grow up to be beautiful swans

By DEREK CLONTZ
Your World Report

And 10 more truisms that science has proved WRONG

- Fat folks are jolly and have hearts of gold. - LIE!

- Things always work out for the best. - THIS IS NOT TRUE!

The "warm and fuzzy" truisms that most humans live by are really nothing more than a pack of wild and stupid lies, important new studies confirm.

"If you think you reap what you sow, you're wrong. If you think you meet people for a mysterious ‘reason’ and not just by chance, you're wrong. If you think beauty is only skin deep, you’re wrong," Drs. John Felsmer and Elizabeth Carson-Lane stated in a letter to the prestigious Australian journal, Statistics Observer.

"You’re also wrong if you think the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach - it's not. If you think women talk more than men - they don't. If you think fat people are happier and jollier than everybody else - they aren't.

"The list of popular beliefs that are erroneous is long. The fact is, most of us live in what amounts to little more than a fantasy world of truisms, cliches, lies and old wives’ tales that have no more basis in reality than a child’s imaginary playmate.

"We're not saying this is bad. Suicide rates would shoot off the charts if people had to face the cold, hard facts of life without the ‘comforting lies' we use to shield ourselves from the horror of the cold, hard truth. For most of us, life is not only meaningless and unfulfilling, it's miserable."

In their letter, the researchers cited dozens of studies dating back to 1955 that show there is "a night-and-day difference between reality as it exists and reality as we like to think it exists."

Here's their eye-opening list of the Top 10 lies we tell ourselves:

1. You reap what you sow. "Not so," say the researchers.

"Studies that compare the effort people put into reaching a goal with the degree of success they achieve show that only 13 percent of people get the reward they have worked for in four key areas - financial security, emotional security, general happiness and personal prestige.

"This means 87 percent of us aren’t getting what we have worked for. We are not reaping what we sow - and we never will."

2. Things always work out for the best. "Actually, things always work out for the worst," note the experts.

"Things might work out to your satisfaction in the short run, but over the long haul, all things deteriorate, disintegrate or die - and then something new and different pops up in its place. This is the unstoppable nature of reality itself. Nothing gets better. Nothing lasts."

3. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. "Only if he’s impotent or lives in the drought-plagued Sudan," insist the scientists. "The vast majority of men respond better to sex than food."

4. We meet other people for mysterious "reasons" rather than by chance.

"People like to think they meet other people - such as soul mates who somehow ‘complete and fulfill’ them - in ways that could only be orchestrated by a divine power," say Drs. Felsmer and Carson-Lane.

"What they fail to recognize, and study after study confirms this, is that most of us are equally ‘fulfilled’ by dogs, cats, goldfish, a bowl of candy, ice cream, stereo gear, TV sets, fancy cars and a big house.

"There’s nothing mysterious about any of this. Humans are, in fact, shallow and are easily fulfilled."

5. Still waters run deep. "It’s commonly believed that men and women who are shy and don’t talk much are lost in thought and smarter than other people," say the experts.

"And yet, studies confirm that introverted individuals are almost always of average intelligence. They also are more likely than the average person to be psychotic.

"In many instances, these ‘still-water psyches’ are little more than walking time bombs just waiting to explode."

6. Beauty is only skin deep. "Several intriguing studies indicate that physically attractive men and women are smarter, happier, healthier and more successful than people who are less attractive or downright ugly," explain the researchers.

"So beauty is more than a veneer - it speaks volumes about a person’s character, psychological stability, health and intelligence, all of which tend to be as ‘beautiful’ as their bodies and faces."

7. Women talk more than men. "Women cry, nag and gossip more than men," say the experts. "But studies confirm that when it comes to counting the words that come out of their mouths, men out-talk women at a rate of almost two words to one."

8. Fat people are happier than trim folks. "Studies show that 80 to 85 percent of obese people are unhappy and seldom joke or laugh in a sincere way - they laugh to keep from crying.

"A similar belief, that fat people, particularly women, have ‘hearts of gold’ doesn’t jibe with reality, either. Studies indicate that far from being generous and kind, fat people tend to be petty and grasping. These are hardly traits you would ascribe to someone with a ‘heart of gold.’"

9. All men are created equal. "People like to think they have as much on the ball as everyone else but it isn’t so," note the scientists. "If you don’t believe that, get yourself a blackboard and a few boxes of chalk and try working out a few of Einstein’s equations."

10. Ugly ducklings grow up to be beautiful swans. "Just eight percent of homely children grow up to be beautiful adults," say the researchers, who suggest that parents and children can use that information to their advantage.

"If your child is less than beautiful, learn to look beyond mere appearances to take pride in things you can do something about.

"You’ll be sorely disappointed if you sit back and do nothing, believing that your ugly child will turn pretty as time goes on. The odds are stacked against you."

Question? Comment? What do you think? Write Your World Report Editor Derek Clontz . He reads and responds personally to every letter, often within minutes and always within one business day.

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