
Fire up your love life with fish hooks, bullets and a bar of soap
YOU CAN fire up your love life overnight with ordinary items like
fish hooks, bullets and a bar of soap.
Thats what I learned in interviews with professional counselors who told me that
couples who take just three to five seconds a day to express their love for one another in
simple and inexpensive but creative ways engage in intimacies at least four times as often
as those who dont.
And when given a choice of three words to describe their intimacies, those same couples
choose electrifying over very good and adequate -
every time, the experts said.
Men and women who have learned how to express their love for one another simply
and regularly have the most sex and the best sex period, Paula Trefton, a marriage
counselor with offices in London and New York, told me exclusively.
These couples have learned that it isnt what you say to your spouse or
lover that opens the door to great sex, its how you say it and how often you say it
that really counts.
Ive found, for instance, that leaving a hastily-scribbled I love
you! on a scrap of paper for your significant other to find or even giving him an
inexpensive gift of fish hooks or a few sticks of gum is every bit as likely
to win you a love session as a dozen red roses or a piece of fine jewelry.
Theres something about the spontaneity of the scribbled note or cheap gift
that touches both men and women on a profoundly deep level. And unlike flowers, jewelry
and other expensive gifts, which often have the feel of bribes, these are
things you can lavish on your lover every day.
Dr. Roberto Garcia, a psychologist in Miami, FL, couldnt agree more.
Statistics vary, but its safe to say the average American couple engages in
sexual intimacies four times a month, he told me in an interview at his office
overlooking Biscayne Bay.
By way of comparison, couples who take those few seconds to express their love
for one another in creative ways each and every day have sex an average of four times a
week.
I dont mind telling you that after seeing those results, I started leaving
love notes to my wife all over the place. Its changed my life.
In interviews with hundreds of patients over the past 10 years, the experts discovered
a number of inexpensive and ingenious ways that savvy couples have found to keep their
interest in one another at fever pitch.
Following their example, you can:
o Write I love you! on a bathroom mirror with a bar of soap. For added
impact, dont wipe it off
ever.
o Scribble I want you! or other Valentines-like messages such as
Hot Mama!, Ooo Baby! or Gimme! Gimme! on a scrap of
paper adorned with smiley faces or any other day-brightening or
sexually-suggestive doodle you can think of.
Tape it to a broom or mop handle, the dishwasher, the steering wheel of his car
-anywhere your sweet-cakes is sure to find it.
o Buy an inexpensive gift and hide it where your lover will stumble on it after he
leaves the house.
If your man likes to hunt or fish, for example, you can slip a package of fish hooks or
a few new bullets or shotgun shells in his briefcase or lunch box before he goes to work.
If your gal likes chocolates or wears lots of makeup, you can drop a few
messy-but-sensual candies - chocolate-covered cherries, for instance - or a tube of lip
gloss in her purse. It might sound corny. But the experts confirm that the tiniest of
surprises say I love you in a very sexy way.
o Telephone your spouse and say, I love you, baby! at odd hours of the day.
Dont wait for a response - hang up as soon as you blurt it out.
We dont really know why, but the message seems to be sexier that way,
said Trefton.
You really can improve your sex life and strengthen the bond between you and your
mate simply and inexpensively,she added.
Just use your imagination and make sure you dont forget to say I love
you! in some special way every day.
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