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VP candidate Sarah Palin’s measurements rumored at 35-30-40; we’ve got
McCain, Obama and Biden numbers, too
By DEREK CLONTZ
Your World Report
WASHINGTON - You read it here FIRST in a scoop we published on Saturday, Aug. 30, at
2:31 p.m. EDT: A highly-placed Republican presidential-campaign insider has told
derekclontz.com exclusively that Sen. John McCain’s pick for vice president - Alaska
Gov. Sarah Palin, a 1984 beauty pageant winner, now 44 - is making no secret, among
friends, anyway, that her current measurements are
35¼ - 30½ - 40¾.
Official spokesmen for Mrs. Palin have declined to comment. And even though some
pundits and individuals are saying the candidate’s measurements and body
shouldn’t be issues, or, as one put it, “even talked about,” others say the
governor “put this out there herself by posing for a provocative cover photo for
Vogue magazine.”
Not to leave any stone unturned, derekclontz.com also exclusively has obtained the male
candidates’ vital statistics. They are:
- John McCain: 39, 35, 29. - Barack Obama: 40-31-32. - Joe Biden: 39-37-29.
Obama, clearly, is in the best shape and has the best physique.
“But the older guys, by insurance-company standards, look pretty
darn good - with reasonably broad shoulders for their advanced age and just
slightly ‘over-porked’ waistlines,” internationally acclaimed
body-sculpting expert Sean Michel-Kent, of London, told derekclontz.com exclusively.
Their behinds are, “well, white guy bunkies,” as Obama’s wife
Michelle joshed to a friend after body shape became a talking point.
She was referring, of course, to the ”ironing
board posteriors” that virtually all white males develop
as their buttocks atrophy and disappear with age, a phenomenon that remains
unexplained by experts but almost certainly has some basis in genes and sedentary
lifestyles and in no way reflects on general health.
The phenomenon also inspired the crude but rib-tickling
one-liner: ”Well, Jim, I can see you’ve been taking your Noassatol
tablets.”
Copyright © 2009 4-Page Media, Inc./Your World
Report. All rights reserved.
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