Silly health myths you ought to know about

By DEREK CLONTZ
Your World Report

Millions of otherwise sane and sensible Americans believe in old wives' tales and bizarre medical myths that make them sound stupid when they're chatting with doctors - and also can damage their health. Here are 18 common medical beliefs, some true, some false, some downright nutty, from the American Association of Medical Practitioners and Researchers, a Washington, D.C.-based lobbying group.

Read on to find out how medically ignorant - or how health savvy - YOU are.

Then pass this important story on to your friends.

1. It takes seven years for chewing gum to pass through your digestive system. False. Gum is indigestible and tends to stick to the colon -- and it might take a month or two to pass. But experts agree that seven years is pushing it.

2. Cutting salt intake can help your high blood pressure. True. Americans eat so much "hidden salt" in processed foods that they lose their ability to taste it -- and then they "up the ante" even more by sprinkling on additional salt at the dinner table.

The bottom line? Even a small reduction of salt can be beneficial in the treatment of hypertension. It makes the heart's job easier by releasing the "water weight" salt holds in our bodies.

3. Cracking your knuckles will cause arthritis in later life. False. Cracking your knuckles will make other people hate you, and it also will damage tendons and muscles in your fingers, resulting in a weaker grip in later life. But there is no evidence that knuckle-cracking causes joint damage that will lead to arthritis.

4. Staring at the sun can blind you. True. You can try it yourself or you can take the advice of medical experts and always look away from the sun.

5. Going out in frigid weather with wet hair from a shower can give you a cold or the flu. True. Cold weather weakens the immune system, and wet hair "tricks" the body into thinking it's even chillier out than it actually is. This opens the door to attack from bugs and viruses that can make you sick as a dog.

6. You can catch a sexually transmitted disease from a toilet seat. True. Be picky about who you follow into a stall -- and don't sit on anything not clean enough to throw a picnic on. Bonus fact: You also can catch STDs off vinyl car seats if the owner "keeps girls" or spends a lot of time on Lover's Lane.

7. Feeding kids sugar will make them hyperactive. True. And the more sugar you give them, the more hyperactive they'll become. Teach your kids to crave "meaty treats" like leftover steak and chops and beef sticks from the convenience store. There's no sugar in meat, so they'll be calmer.

8. Drinking warm milk will put you to sleep. Unless you splash a little scotch in it, no, it will not. Warm milk does contain the soothing amino acid L-tryptophan. But you'd have to drink six to eight gallons of sweet whole milk to get enough L-tryptophan to sedate you, especially if you've finished counting sheep and are already up and pacing.

9. Chocolate causes acne. True. It also makes you fat.

10. Cats will suck the breath out of babies, killing them in their cribs. True, but rare.

12. Most women secretly wish they were men. True. Studies show that six out of 10 females wish they could be males, at least for a few days.

13. Diabetes is caused by high consumption of sugar. False. Most doctors now agree that diabetes is a genetic illness caused by your ancestors. But sugar consumption does seem to trigger it.

14. Cigarettes are bad for you. True -- and false. New studies show that even though cigarettes cause cancer and other vicious diseases, they improve critical thinking skills -- and are a boon to victims of Parkinson's disease.

15. Caffeine is not a drug. False. Caffeine is the most widely used and abused drug on earth but, like hard liquor, politicians are afraid to ban it for fear addicts will vote them out of office.

16. All doctors are qualified to give good medical care and have passed rigorous tests to prove it. False. About half of all doctors have passed rigorous tests to prove they are qualified to hold your life in their hands. The rest are foreigners who were "educated" in places like New Guinea, Bosnia and Somalia or "rich kids" who paid somebody off to get certified, a shocking new government study confirms.

17. Fewer than half of all women are capable of experiencing sexual joy via orgasms. False. New studies show nine out of 10 women regularly experience shrieking, earth-shaking orgasms, especially when going solo.

18. The size of a man's penis doesn't matter to a woman and has no bearing on his or her ability to enjoy sex. Are you kidding? False!

19. Herbs and natural remedies don't cure cancer. False. Dozens of herbs and natural remedies cure cancer -- and researchers both know it and use these inexpensive botanicals themselves. But if they told YOU the truth, they'd be out of a job, so they keep their mouths shut.

20. Half of all Americans are obese. False. Two thirds of Americans are obese. It's just that when pollsters call and ask them, a lot of people lie and say, "I'm average," or "I'm just a couple of pounds overweight," and the pollster has no choice but to believe them.

Question? Comment? What do you think? Write Your World Report Editor Derek Clontz . He reads and responds personally to every letter, often within minutes and always within one business day.

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