"Satanic monsters from the sewers of Hell itself are flooding the world, and they aren't coming here to visit Disney World and ride the rides - they're coming to get you!" Dr. Raymond Joneston declared in his weekly short-wave broadcast, Give Me The Children, which is heard by an estimated 22 million men, women and children in 17 countries around the world.

"Satan will tell you otherwise," continued the Los Angeles-based evangelist. "He'll tell you monsters aren't scary. He'll tell you monsters aren't real. He'll tell you monsters are not under your bed. He'll tell you not to worry about anything at all.

"But once you start believing him, once you convince yourself that 'old Dr. Joneston' doesn't know what he's talking about, once you stop believing that these drooling, hissing, scale-encrusted monsters are real, that's when they'll extend their filthy, black claws into your tender young skin.

"They'll rip your heart out! They'll rip your eyes out! They'll twist your heads off! And then they'll drag you down that twisting, turning low-road that leads directly into Hell.

"I know this for a fact," he whispered, "because monsters took my children - six of them - when I was young and foolish and failed to heed the ways and warnings of the Lord.

"Now I'm warning you and I hope and pray you listen. My children are gone - dead - -but you don't have to go with them. Get down on your knees and pray for your salvation.

"And when you go to bed tonight, fear these monsters, fear Satan - and most of all, fear the Lord!"

Dr. Joneston's broadcast touched off a billowing firestorm of controversy that both media analysts and mainstream clergy expect to rage for weeks, months or even years to come.

On one side of the argument are liberal Christians and psychiatrists who believe Dr. Joneston's message to have been both "bogus and harmful." They cite unconfirmed but emotional reports claiming "thousands of parents" have been forced to seek psychiatric counseling for their children following the broadcast, which one expert called "an act of spiritual terrorism."

Lining up with Dr. Joneston are waves of supporters who:

1. Defend the literal accuracy of the sermon.

2. Allege that anyone who disagrees with its tone or content is either "too far gone to help" or actually "speaking for Satan."

Much of the controversy stems from the fact that Dr. Joneston's lesson on monsters represented a sharp and almost incomprehensible departure from the "milder fare" he normally delivers.

Recent broadcasts carried titles such as Making Friends With Everyone You Meet and Jesus Loves You Yes Indeedy!

"The Lord works in mysterious ways but the Devil's mischief is clear for everyone to see," Dr. Joneston told one reporter. "If you want to make me the fool, go right ahead. Just don't come crying to me when you and your children find out about Satan's monsters the hard way."

Story bonus: How to keep monster from getting you

You can keep monsters from getting you by following Dr. Joneston's five-point plan. Here it is:

1. Say your prayers every night without fail--and be sure to remind God to "Please - PLEASE! - -keep all the monsters away." For an extra margin of safety, set an alarm clock to awaken you for additional praying at least once and ideally twice a night.

Remember: Monsters are wicked, powerful and ruthless and will tear you to shreds if given half a chance but God is stronger by far. If you say your prayers He almost certainly will protect you, unless, of course, He has some other plan in mind.

2. Always take your Bible to bed with you. If it's a large Bible, slip it into your pillow case to keep from knocking it off the bed and losing protection while you sleep. A small, pocket-size Bible can be strapped to your wrist or bedpost with tape.

3. Always sleep on your back - -facing Heaven - rather than on your stomach ... facing Hell.

4. Do not--repeat, DO NOT - toys under your bed, especially toys that promote violent or perverted behavior.

Toy handguns, rifles, riot-guns, knives, grenades, switchblade combs, Star Wars-style "light swords", lawn darts, teen magazines, stick-on tattoos and many others fall into this category.

Instead, pepper your room with Bible action-figures available from any Christian bookstore. If you can't afford a complete set, buy Jesus and the disciples, Mary, Moses, John the Baptist and other powerhouse figures first.